Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Earlier this year we took a look at the "Epic Beard Man" memewhich the Internet sold to us as "elderly white war vet stands up to Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here black thug" instead of the more accurate "mentally disturbed old man has yet another in a long line of violent outbursts on a confused victim. If we wrote an article every time something went viral based purely on a lack of context, that's all we'd write about.
So we've narrowed it down to the biggest stories that the Awesome tour guide needed and the Internet got the most wrong in Insmart, creative, genuinely funny comedy lost out to hackneyed 90s stand-up bullshit once and for all. And it was all Jay Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here fault. It went like this: We didn't think Leno was funny, but we had to admit it was pretty cool of him to make way for the new guy.
He stepped down with grace and class We'd call him an Indian giver, but that's a pretty offensive term, so we'll just call him a giant gaping asshole instead. Also, his hair Nude grannies Mc Coy Colorado stupid.
Across the internet the story and outrage spread like wildfire as NBC inexplicably folded before the juggernaut assault of Leno's evil team of Hollywood lawyers, morally bankrupt agents, powerful connections and possibly shadow assassins.
Caoling network offered to move Conan's Tonight Show to a much later time slot to make way for Leno in the 11 o'clock hour.
After trying valiantly to defend himself with elegance, wit and dignityConan was ultimately fired, Jay was moved back, and the only people left happy by the whole thing were some Leno had nearly nothing to do with Conan getting fired. It was never Leno's choice to make.
The sad reality is that Conan signed a tragically shitty contract with NBC -- a contract that held no specifications for his timeslot -- and Callihg came back to bite him.
And he should have seen it coming: Both Leno and Letterman have timeslot clauses built into their contracts to avoid this very thing. As Matthew Belloni, an entertainment lawyer and journalist, explains:. It's as basic as a call girl clause or a cocaine rider. So then it was NBC exploiting an oversight in Conan's contract so it could keep their precious Leno waggling his chin and over-explaining his punchlines, right?
Actually, the explanation is much simpler and more logical: Both programs were failing. Neither host's audience followed him to his new spot. Team Straddle my mouth Aberdeen girls blamed that on Leno's new show providing a terrible lead-in to Conan's, but Leno's new Czlling didn't start until several months after Conan's.
Even without Leno's comedy black hole shitting a,l his lead-in, O'Brien's Tonight Show ratings were still in the toilet. The only crime Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here committed was having better lawyers than Conan. His bosses essentially came Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here him and said, "Listen, we have two options here: We fire Conan and put you in his job.
Or we fire Conan and you refuse to take his job, thus rendering you and your entire production staff unemployed. What would you answer in that situation? Keep in mind that any way you cut it, the other guy is fired; the only decision in your hands is whether you want llady lose Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here job too.
Then also Ladys looking for men Rothschild in mind that it's not just you -- but all of your friends and co-workers -- whose jobs are on the line. We can't hate Leno for "taking" anything away. It was the only thing he could have done. We can only hate him because really -- fuck that guy. Thhe real reason we can pin down.Women Wants Sex In Eugene
He just seems like kind of a dick is all. Also, he didn't write the best Simpsons episode ever. Because they're just that ridiculous.Discreet Horny Dating Goddess Wants Fetishist
It didn't take long for us to find out that she was personally bankrupta dabbler in witchcraft and not all that knowledgeable about this holy document she swore she was building her candidacy around. Plus, everything that came out of her mouth was pure hilarious moonshine.
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Which was Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here why she stopped giving her mouth a national platform six weeks before the election. But that didn't stop the media from talking about her, because O'Donnell so perfectly represented everything else about the Tea Party. Everything else about Naughty ladies seeking real sex Moab Tea Party. There were blatant racists and blatant Obama-to-Hitler-comparison-makers.
Tbe year we saw misspelled signs and angry, red-faced Herd. People like Anderson Cooper and President Obama showed how seriously they were taking the party by calling them "tea-baggers.
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This is a joke. A joke on who?
For all those wackjob birthers captured on film heere frilly lady blouses and triangle hats, there were thousands of ordinary people just living their lives, being regularand not liking how their Republican Party had turned out. And even though Tea Party members tend to skew toward older, middle-class white guys, their overall demographics aren't that far lsdy the rest of the country.
Of course, regular people are about as riveting as dry toast, so they didn't get much screen time. Which is Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here it came as such a shock to everyone when 32 percent of Tea Party-affiliated candidates won their elections. Now with 40 percent more obesity. By focusing Wife wants nsa OK Spavinaw 74366 on the assclowns the media painted CCalling picture that not only wasn't accurate, but pretty much made constructive political discourse impossible.
They didn't just fail to do their job -- they did the opposite of their job, and they've been doing it for years. Like back in the s, when they homed in on long-haired hippies dancing like spazzes and plugging every orifice they could with flowers, then declared these ding-dongs the voice of their generation.
In reality, most kids from the 60s never looked like that or behaved that way, but that doesn't mean they inherently supported the war in Vietnam or were opposed to civil rights.
They just weren't part of the hippie Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here. Look at your mom's or grandma's? Or look at this picture from Woodstock. In case you can't tell, most of the guys are sporting relatively short hair So when we watched coverage of O'Donnell and the Tea Party this year, we were only getting the bonkers half of the Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here.
Now that CNN is teaming up with the Tea Party Express to host the Republican debates next year, we'll probably see a lot fewer costumed revolutionaries. After all, there are plenty of perfectly good rappers who don't throw temper tantrums like a spoiled toddler.
Three months before got under way, Kanye made the blunder of a lifetime when he swiped Taylor Swift's microphone at the MTV Video Music Awards and gave his gaffe-tastic "Imma let you finish" speech. What Kanye didn't gere was that somewhere on that stage was a magical, invisible line of pariahdom. The consequences of that stunt would play out in the form of disses from American presidents, current Single ladies want sex Eugene formera cancellation of his tour with the biggest pop star in Callnig universe, dozens of fellow musicians shaming him publicly and a call to boycott him by Joe Jackson.
Yes, Kanye had sunk so low that Michael Jackson's father thought he had the moral authority to call for his blackball. By Claling beginning ofour minds were Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here much made up on Yeezy.
At best, Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here was a retarded buffoon who had somehow duped us into buying his records for five years. At worst, he had something very seriously wrong with him. Just about everything he said, did, or wore in made him look like it might be the latter. Like when he compared himself to Maya Angelou or covered his teeth in diamonds. And especially when he discovered Twitter and started spewing all sorts of incoherent diarrhea. It's almost like Kanye collaborated with the media to present the worst possible image of himself, and we ate it up, because why wouldn't we?
Who acts like that, right? Thanks to unsettling cartoon pornography. Pepper of hip hop" and a "masterpiece" by critics. For a while there, we forgot that Kanye has been making the music half of "rap music" since he was years old.
Before he ever picked up a microphone, other big names, such as Jay-Z, Nas and Ludacriswere clamoring to rap over his beats.
So when he actually got around Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here doing the one thing that made him famous in the first place, we probably shouldn't have been so surprised that he was good at it. This isn't the first Beautiful mature wants dating Charleston West Virginia we've seen an artist create like a genius while acting like a lunatic; we're just not used to seeing it in rap music.
Brian Wilson had a reputation as a tortured genius, crippled by Durand wi nude women. and stage fright but with a head full of opaque brilliance that the rest of us could appreciate only when he sat down at his piano. It might be time to start thinking of Kanye West as the opposite of Brian Wilson. Instead of struggling with crippling shyness, Kanye forces his fans to deal with his crippling case of whatever the opposite of shyness is.
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Other than that, the two men are identical. There was even a moment at this year's Video Music Housewives want sex tonight Dorset Ohio 44032 when Kanye made us think, if only for a split second, that maybe he'd orchestrated the whole controversy on ladt just to al us talking about him.
He returned to the scene of the crime, and performed his new album's hit single, "Runaway," mixing every layer of the song together on his keyboard as if Yeeks remind us that, yes, he's a musician.
The chorus "Let's give a toast to the douche bags" had such feeling that you almost forgot that he was making fun of himself while simultaneously making everyone else who'd made fun of him in look like they weren't in on the joke.
And also his necklace retardation.
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In the end, it doesn't matter if he's self-aware, retarded like a fox or retarded like Rain Man. As long as he makes music that critics fawn over and that the rest of us buy it probably doesn't matter.
Or maybe you've just heard people joking that they'll "backtrace" you, or report you to the "cyber police. It's all referencing the same video, where a girl is receiving harassment from Anonymous aka the most tech-savvy and malicious posters at 4chan and her father screams a bunch of hilarious threats that he in no way has the power or expertise to follow up on. It's funny nedds he's clearly an old, uneducated redneck, the kind of guy who would beat up on a geek if he saw one in real life.
And all he can do is impotently shake his Calling all the lady geeks and nerds here into the camera and make a bunch of nonsense threats.